Disclaimer: This is a long post. I had a lot to say and just couldn’t edit 🙂
On April 29, 2009 my husband made what has been the worst call of his life to me. If you aren’t familiar with this, see “Can You Say Punched In The Gut”.
I am happy to report today that he reports for his new job on
Tuesday, June 9, 2009!
I may actually be able to breathe and hopefully sleep all night tonight!
Through this, my family has endured. We have come out the other side in tact and stronger than before.
What we have learned is that we had become complacent with our life. We took things for granted that we really needed to be grateful for. Our faith has been tested. Thankfully, we were alert enough to see the changes God was trying to make in our lives. I feel blessed today to know that we were chosen to go through this. I only hope that we are able to help someone the way so many have helped us.
I can stand here today and tell you that there were days I would be so excited about the future. I would tell people “There is something so wonderful that God has waiting for us on the other side of this hill. I can’t wait to see what it is!” And I would believe it with all of my heart and soul. There were days that would put on a smile and say it, but doubt every word that came out of my mouth. I would feel so guilty for that. Then there were days that I felt that I couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t want to face the world. Those were the days that I felt especially guilty and would pray for God to take back the control of my life and forgive me for trying to run it myself.
I am telling you this because I am hopeful that telling my story, good and bad, will help someone. Either someone that is living this nightmare or someone who knows of someone that is.
Friends of my husband that had been though this were very supportive and told him that he would come out of this better off. That is easy to hear but hard to comprehend when you are in the middle of uncertainty. They would also offer assistance in little ways that meant the world to us. Passing the resume to contacts they had, reviewing his resume (he hadn’t written a resume in over 15 years!). They would call to check on us and always offer kind words, and more importantly, lend an ear.
The one thing that they didn’t do was call every day and ask if he had found a job. I found that to be the most offensive thing to deal with. We knew we were without a job. We knew we were sending hundreds of emails with our resume attached. We knew we were not getting responses. We did not need to be reminded that we did not have a job. One day, someone very close to me, whom I was in contact with almost daily sat down at the desk next to me and said this. “I hate to ask this, but how is the job search going?” It was the first time she had asked me that question since I told her my news. I was more than happy to share with her how our progress, or lack thereof , was. It was all in the way it was presented to me. I knew that she was genuinely concerned for us.
I want to talk a minute about Social Media and “virtual friends”. I am here to tell you that those on-line friends are VERY real! I received so many messages with my friend’s cell phone numbers (most of which I had already!) offering to help, to talk, to listen. They would all celebrate with me for my victories and let me be down when I really wasn’t feeling up to par. I made some very good friends through this rough period on FaceBook and Twitter. To all of you and especially the #twitterqueens. THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU ALL DEARLY!
Let me also say that I probably haven’t been a good friend the past few weeks. I would like to apologize to anyone that I snapped at or “hid” from. Some days I just couldn’t bear to face the world. It was all I could muster some days to work professionally with my clients. There was nothing left.
I think the hardest thing in this has been to “Be Still” I am a take charge kinda girl. Having to sit back and “Be Still” was very hard for me. I overheard my husband say to someone one day. “I can’t get her to understand that Corporate America doesn’t work on Real Estate time. If the offer isn’t signed at 6:00 the offer isn’t dead.” On Wednesday, I posted on Facebook “Be Still and know that He is God. – I am still learning the Be Still part of this!” 10 minutes later FedEx knocked on my door and left the Corporate “package” we had been waiting for! It was the formal written offer for Brian’s new job!
Brian and I always knew that our children were exceptional. This “growth spurt” has only proven that to us. My youngest daughter had a birthday on May 1 and turned 9. One night she opened a birthday card and there was money. She closed the card and handed the money to us, “to help”. WOW! After her birthday party, she told me that we could have her birthday money if we needed it. As parents, this broke our hearts. Looking back now, I am filled with pride that my sweet little 9 year old has enough love in her heart to want to take care of someone else before herself. Our oldest daughter is 16. She has a job and makes enough to keep her “going out” habits funded. She has only been out with her friends to the movies once. The told me that she wanted to save her money in case we needed it. Again…WOW! One thing we know for sure. We have raised some pretty amazing girls. I have always responded to people when they tell me how beautiful our girls are that they also have beautiful hearts. Our efforts in teaching them to pay it forward have paid off!
I referred to this as our “growth spurt”. That is what I am officially calling this period in our life! I used that term with my youngest. She has terrible leg cramps when she goes through a growth spurt. I likened our situation to this as something she could identify with. We have endured the pain of growing. We have grown and we are all stronger for it. I am glad that we were chosen to grow. Do I want to go through this particular growth spurt again? HELL NO! I do however, hope that we will be a comforting source for someone who is going through this or knows someone that is.
To shamelessly quote from Shinedown’s song Second Chance. “My eyes are wide open. By the way, I made it through the day. Sometimes goodbye is a Second Chance. ”